Match strengths and abilities to common household tasks, the same way you assign duties at work.
By: Melissa Thoma | 07/20/2009
Most businesses create an organizational chart. They break the work down into areas of responsibility and define them further by required skill sets and accompanying tasks. Applicants are screened for their experience, training and aptitude before they are assigned to the jobs. Doing so makes the business run better.
But does this happen at home? Not often.
Answer these questions: Who’s the CEO in your family? And who’s the CFO?
Applying a bit of management discipline to your home life can open new possibilities. Consider the skills and aptitudes required by real life and match them to the unique abilities each of you brings to the relationship.
Take the CEO, for example. The primary role of the CEO at work is holding the vision and setting strategy, not “being the boss,” as is generally assumed. When I think about the role of home CEO, I ask myself, who in this family tends to carry the vision for the future and see the big picture? That would be me.
As CEO, I am responsible for planning the future. What does summer look like for the family as a whole and for each child? Where would we like to travel? Are we on track to complete that kitchen renovation? What goals must we reach in order to make the whole system, as well as each individual, better?
On the other hand, Martin is the best fit for CFO, so he manages all things financial. Does he get to decide what we purchase? No. That would be the purchasing agent–me. He’s responsible for creating the annual budget, paying the bills, determining the best plan for college or retirement savings, and monitoring those investments.
COO? Well, when it comes to operating the household, we break it up into inside (me) and outside (him). These choices aren’t about traditional roles. These are about what each of us does best. This became really clear when we had very young children. Martin can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, in an instant. If I am awakened in the night, I cannot go back to sleep. Guess who managed the bulk of the nighttime care duties in our house?
On top of that, I’m blessed (or cursed, depending on how you look at it) with a head of curls that would make Orphan Annie jealous. The only approach to hair care is to wash it and let it be. Our daughter, Claire, has beautiful, wavy black hair. It required more than mere maintenance; it called for artistry! Martin took on the role of coiffeur, mastering the French braid and other lovely updos. And because we both hate housework, we outsource.
What roles do you play in your family life? Are you doing that job because you have the right aptitude and skill, or are you doing it because “that’s how it was done in my family” or “it’s a woman’s job”?
Do you find yourself angry and annoyed at your partner each time you perform a certain task? Chances are you aren’t made for the job. If both of you hate it, pay someone else to do it, even if you have to tighten up elsewhere. Martin and I cut back on dinners out, double lattes and manicures in order to pay for some help in the home and kitchen. Now we have clean clothes, bathed dogs, food in the ‘fridge and a chance to take a nap on Saturday afternoons.
You might find that neither of you is great at keeping the checkbook balanced and the bills paid on time. These processes can be automated with a little investment in technology. That’s what happens at work, right? Making those little investments can pay off big when you raise your credit score and lower your blood pressure.
By the way, the two of you may not be the only “staffers” at home, so consider applying the discipline of delegation and job descriptions to your kids. My daughter was my personal assistant during high school. She paid for her car insurance by working it off 10 to 12 hours a week.
If outsourcing those irksome tasks or investing in household technology (Roomba, anyone?) saves you conflict and stress, you have managed your budget wisely.
Sometime soon over coffee or wine, work with your partner to identify all the jobs required to run the “business of life” for your family. Map these jobs into roles on your “org chart.” Then match family members to the positions and tasks that leverage their strengths and native abilities. At home–as in business–becoming more intentional about this process can foster a more peaceable kingdom.