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Is Your Spouse a Happy Customer?

Columnist Melissa Thoma gives her husband a customer-satisfaction survey to find out whether she lives up to her brand promise.

By: Melissa Thoma   |   05/19/2010

We spend a lot of time here at Thoma Thoma thinking about our clients’ customers. What do they want? What do they value? How do we create and promote products and services that meet their needs and develop them into brand fans? What is the difference between a sometimes user of the product and a loyal lifetime customer?

What if I thought about my marriage that way? I guess you could say that in my marriage, I’m the product and Martin is the customer. Wonder what would happen if I asked him to complete a customer satisfaction survey? Scary thought.

We may have a binding contract to be in a relationship, but most of us understand that all contracts are breakable–and about half the time married folks take advantage of that. Perhaps taking a moment to look at myself and think about how I create value for Martin isn’t a bad idea.

So many customers rate their satisfaction with a product or service based on how well they are listened to–especially when they have a problem or aren’t happy. You get a real sense of the integrity of the company based on its response to a problem you may be having. How responsive am I when Martin is having a problem with me? When your significant other calls the customer complaint line, what do you do? Do you listen, ask questions, and acknowledge his or her dissatisfaction?

I hate to admit it, but while I’m very conscious of the impression I’m making with my clients by the way I dress, how I respond to them, and how I use my social and conversational skills, it’s really easy to completely disregard the impression I’m making at home. Those social niceties are really appreciated around the house. You know you lose a little respect every time your loved one acts like he or she lives in a barnyard. What image do I want to project to Martin?

When I think about that, I’m more jazzed about dressing up, making better conversation and minding my manners a bit more. We coach our clients every day about how to present a brand image that is attractive to their customers. Loyal customers respond. Not a bad idea to take home.

Customers generally find satisfaction in a quality product; excellent personal service or treatment; or plain old affinity for the coolness, hipness or charm of the brand. What if we asked our mates to rate us on those measures, with 1 being poor, 3 average and 5 superior? I got up my nerve and asked Martin to do that. Here are the results–and I promise I didn’t sway them. I’m happily relieved by the scores.

On a scale of 1 to 5–with 1 being poor, 3 average and 5 superior–please rate your mate on the following:

• I believe that my mate is a “quality” product/person: 5

Please comment: I don’t know of a single person who is more intentional or aware

about how her words and behaviors impact the people she interacts with.

• When I am unsatisfied with my relationship (product or service), my mate is

responsive to my needs: 5

Please comment: She is so tuned in she likely knows of dissatisfaction before I do.

In terms of relationships, she is always trying to improve the quality. That focus

certainly extends to our relationship.

• I am treated well by my mate: 4

Please comment: If I could get more breakfasts in bed and neck rubs, I would

definitely give a 5. Seriously, though, Melissa takes great care of everyone around

her–especially me–even at the cost of great self-sacrifice.

• My mate (the brand) is cool, hip, charming: 5

Please comment: Since brands are what everyone else thinks and feels about them,

this one is definitely off the charts. There’s not a bigger life of the party to go out with;

a classier woman to have on your arm; a smarter, more creative business partner; or a

more intuitive, caring, loving woman. She looks great, she takes care of herself and

she has awesome shoes. What’s not to love?

Wow! I’m blushing, but whenever I think back to a heartwarming story I heard on National Public Radio, I know that I’m woefully behind on creating marital satisfaction compared to the late Danny Perasa.

I had to pull over and stop the car one morning on the way to work as I listened to a precious excerpt from the Storycorps booth in New York City. Danny and Annie Perasa had stopped in to talk about their marriage. Turns out that Danny had left a love note on the table for his wife every single day of their 25-year-plus marriage. There was nothing too eloquent or deep–just the daily effort of writing “I love you” to the woman in his life

That story had a profound impact on many listeners, and NPR continued to cover the couple through Danny’s death from pancreatic cancer in 2006. Danny knew how to create the ultimate customer satisfaction. He knew that the customer is king (or queen, in this case). And he knew that by putting Annie first, he was assured that she would be one happy, satisfied customer for life.